(Light hearted and strongly character based roleplaying game running
in Edinburgh on Thursdays 8-11pm. Five female players and two male. Mail
Nicky for details)More
on the background of the characters can be found at
A Cuthulu
Chapbook
There's also an on-line game of
De
Profundis based in modern day Edinburgh
Introduction, Ch1 - The Haunted House,
Ch2 - The Haunted House... again, Ch3
- The Late Mr Walter Corbett and Friends, Ch4 - The
End of the World and Other Student Pranks, Ch5 -
Very, Very Doomed Indeed...., Ch6 - Cigarettes,
Chalk and Insanity, Ch7 - Two Weddings and a Funeral,
Ch8 - A Pleasant Night's Sleep, Undisturbed by Ghostly
Apparitions, Ch9 - Jasmine Goes For a Walk,
Ch10 - Random Inexplicable Clues, Ch11
- Interesting Skin Rashes and Other Clues, Ch12 -
Bruce Goes Berserk While The Carsons Go to Lunch, Ch13
Young Mr Hardwicke tires of his house guests..., Ch14
Nathan and the Major have women trouble, Ch15 -
Bruce's Last Stand
Chapters 16 to 29
Chapters 30 to 41
Chapters 42 to 50
Chapters 51 to present
Character Profiles
Our story began in early summer 1920.
Dr Drusilla
Hamilton-Smythe, (a lecturer in anthropology at Edinburgh
University, mid 30s, spinster, sturdy and tweedy, did nursing in Flanders
during The Great War),
Andrew MacDuff,
(an engineer in his early twenties, who served in the artillery and
the tank corps during the War),
Stephen St Chapman
(a librarian at Edinburgh University who was too unfit for War service
- aged 40) and Brenton
McAllister (a dashingly handsome young Canadian who served in
both the infantry and the Royal Flying Corps. He suffered a serious head
wound and now makes his living selling sensational stories of mystery to
the less respectable type of newspapers, although he aspires to be an
author) were all invited to a mutual friend's wedding which went
horribly wrong what with mysterious deaths, hauntings, mysterious Indian
statues, a long lost brother and a very tall, smelly chappie (possibly
a Ghast, whatever that is...) disrupting proceedings by stealing a
book.
They solved that mystery, more or less, and Drusilla only crashed her car
a couple of times in the process. The smelly chap and the long lost
brother also crashed their car and perished tragically in the flames.
These bizarre happenings set the party on the road to further
investigations of matters beyond mortal ken....
Their next case, following a journalistic lead of McAllister's, involved
investigating some odd happenings in Yorkshire
Sadly, or luckily (depending on your point of view) they completely missed
the point of the various strange events they encountered. Drusilla drank
lots of cocoa and minded the car while MacDuff and McAllister traipsed
through woodland, waded through muddy ponds and attempted some amateur
housebreaking without any success. McAllister was forced to fabricate a
story for the paper which had paid his expenses for the trip, but the
editor didn't seem to mind and the readers almost certainly didn't notice.
Some weeks after they had left a group of archaeologists (or grave
robbers, to use the old-fashioned term) stumbled upon an ancient tomb
under an island in the centre of a lake and a couple of them got killed in
the process of stealing the treasure.
The trip to Yorkshire wasn't a total dead loss though, since Brenton
McAllister met Gertrude
Perceval, a local farmer's beautiful daughter who proved to be
really good with a shotgun. They went dancing together at the village
hall.
Others enjoyed several excellent pub lunches.
A while later young MacDuff's employer asked him to get Brenton to
investigate a house which his colleague was having difficulty in letting
due to rumours of it being haunted.
At this point the party were joined by
Jasmine
Hamilton-Smythe (Drusilla's niece), whose stage name was Jasmine
Jenks and whose profession was nightclub singer. The circumstances leading
to her father sending her away from New York to stay with her Auntie Dru
in Scotland remain somewhat mysterious. Auntie Dru was somewhat startled
by Jasmine's tendency to wear rather revealing dresses and impractical
shoes. She also found the smoking and drinking a little unseemly, but
Jasmine was a perfectly charming little girl when she was five so her
Auntie has been inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and has
confined herself to sighing "They do things differently in The
Colonies" every so often.
Jasmine was rather impressed by Brenton.
She was rather less impressed by Gertrude, who Auntie Dru had invited up
to Edinburgh on the excuse of her being company for Jasmine. Gertrude was
slightly prettier than Jasmine and Brenton had eyes only for Gertrude.
Major James Carson,
a widower and retired military gentleman, (former commanding officer
of MacDuff's) was also assisting in the investigation of the haunted
house. He thought Drusilla was a charming lady. Jasmine was amazed that
anyone could find Auntie Dru and her tweeds attractive and enchanting, but
was nonetheless very keen to exploit the situation so as to escape from
Auntie Dru's rather overzealous chaperoning.
(She had previously put Mr St Chapman into shock by suggesting over cream
tea that he and Auntie Dru had a common interest in tweed and library
books.)
At the haunted house Brenton and MacDuff got attacked by an airborne
knife in the cellar. Drusilla bravely, but unwisely, went to investigate
mysterious noises in an upstairs room on her own. MacDuff got possessed
and shot the Major, causing our heroes and heroines to resolve to leave
the guns in the car in future. They then made an unsuccessful attempt to
negotiate with supernatural entities with the help of a well meaning
little old lady from the local Spiritualist Church.
As the Internet portion of the scenario commenced Brenton was lying on
the sofa with a minor wound, being tended night and day by the devoted
Gertrude. Drusilla, who was considerably more seriously hurt due to a fall
from an upper storey window following an attack by an enraged bedstead,
bandaged herself up, pulled herself together and has been thoroughly
British about the whole thing....
Jasmine managed to acquire a massively debilitating hangover while
supposedly chaperoned. Her exact ways and means of achieving this are a
subject of some interest to her Auntie Dru, but have not yet been fully
investigated.
The Major bought Dr Drusilla some tea and cream cakes. Sadly, on a
psychology roll of 94 she remained entirely unaware of his ulterior
motive. He appears slightly disappointed, but continues to believe her to
be a fine figure of a woman.
The party uncovered the fact that a previous owner of the haunted house, a
Mr Walter Corbett, was a member of some odd cult which used to have a
church in town. He was buried in the cellar of the house "according
to his wishes, and those of The One Who Waits In The Dark." The party
have investigated the basement of the cult's now ruined church (armed with
stout walking sticks and a handbag containing a heavy, leather bound
version of the Old Testament as well as cameras, torches and similar) and
have taken away an old book in Latin, as well as a couple of volumes of
church records. Unfortunately, the party also found a skeleton in the
rubble, and being honest and upright citizens they decided not to
investigate the site further, and to inform the police of their discovery.
So, back at the haunted house, they were clearing all the junk out of the
first storeroom when they found a wall press containing Corbett's diaries.
The ghost attempted to get into Dr Drusilla's mind. Her response was to
tell it off in Very British tones. "Really Mr Corbett, all this fuss
will do you no good at all. This can't go on, you know. It's for your own
good that we're doing this." If he persists she may be forced to
speak even more loudly and slowly at him, and may even advise him to keep
a stiff upper lip about the prospect of having his mortal remains
disinterred and his evil plot disrupted.
Everyone left the house before sunset and spent the evening reading books.
The content of Corbett's diaries were rather unsettling. He seems to have
been performing some rather disturbing experiments.
Drusilla sternly forbade the young ladies from reading the diaries. She
then successfully made her psychology roll and decided that perhaps the
diaries ought to be kept at the Major's home, in case Jasmine accidentally
opened them while innocently looking for the telephone directory or
something. Jasmine may have cursed under her breath at this point, but
everyone else was far too well mannered to notice.
Mr St-Chapman was reading the Latin book, while getting more and more
nervous. Dr Drusilla offered him a small sherry to steady his nerves,
which is a sure sign that things are getting really alarming... There was
something about a Walker Between the Worlds, but no one knows what that
means.
At dawn tomorrow, the party plan to pull up floorboards at the house and
point out the error of his ways to the late Mr Corbett.
Jasmine: Would Auntie Dru realise it was a hangover? As to how
she got it, it is possible that while Auntie Dru was reading, researching
etc. Jasmine persuaded Mr. MacDuff to take her out for drinks again and
overdid it this time. (For those of you unaware he has been prevailed to
do this twice already while Auntie Dru and the Major were at the library
and Gertrude was tending poor dear Brenton's wound)
Drusilla: As a university lecturer it's quite likely that Drusilla
has met students, and even in 1920 that should provide her with the
necessary experience to make her "spot hangover" roll.
Well, it looks like our heroes and heroines avoided the scenario for
another week...
Poor Mr St Chapman was still going quietly mad over the book they found in
the wall press at the haunted house. Drusilla read Walter's diary, but her
layers of tweed appear to have acted as a barrier against sanity loss.
An evening of dinner and dancing preceded their proposed visit to the
haunted house to rip up the floorboards, and by 11pm it was clear that the
ghostly bits of the game were going to have to wait while the players had
a final drink at Drusilla's place and dealt with such serious issues as
- How long before Jasmine becomes homicidally violent as a result of
having to listen to constant repetition of "Oh Brenton..", "Oh
Gertrude..." from the young lovers?
- Does Brenton asking Gertrude whether she'd like to live in Canada
actually constitute a formal proposal?
- If not, when will he propose?
- Will Auntie Dru be forced to invite Gertrude's mother to come and stay?
Or will a quiet word from the Major persuade Brenton that he's dallied for
long enough now?
Jasmine had taken Gertrude shopping earlier in the day and had persuaded
her to purchase a rather daring blue dress which caused a sensation in the
restaurant. Drusilla remarked that "They do things differently in The
Colonies." (Presumably Yorkshire is now regarded as a Colony...)
McAllister was topping up Drusilla's glass in the restaurant in order to
reduce the overall level of chaperoning, meanwhile the Major was also
topping up Drusilla's glass for reasons of his own. So Auntie Dru got a
little tipsy. And the Major held her hand on the sofa while the four young
people were in the garden taking a short stroll in the night air. Jasmine
(who was listening at the door) was fascinated by these developments. As
indeed was Drusilla - she had never been chatted up before - it was a very
novel experience for her. But will the Major be able to progress as far as
a kiss on the cheek before everyone dies?
So, that leaves Jasmine and MacDuff in the garden.
Auntie Dru and the Major are chatting on the sofa indoors. Brenton and
Gertrude are in the gazebo saying "Oh Gertrude..." and "Oh
Brenton.." to each other. Does the general atmosphere of romance in
the air spread to our gallant engineer?
Drusilla: Now, that should be interesting to watch. Will
MacDuff become nervous if Jasmine steps up her pursuit? Will he indeed
emigrate, change his name and grow a beard?
Mr St Chapman thinks he'll run and hid from all this match making
talk :-) perhaps another brandy is in order....
Well, a new day dawns for our slightly hungover heroines. Auntie Dru
steadfastly insisted on a good sustaining breakfast of porridge and
kippers, in spite of the state of her stomach, head, etc.
Gertrude was a little thoughtful over breakfast. Darling Brenton did ask
how she felt about emigrating to Canada last night, but he didn't actually
propose...
Jasmine was more than a little peeved that Mr MacDuff managed to preserve
his virtue the previous night in spite of her best efforts.
Mr St Chapman was still reading through the very disturbing book from the
old chapel. He was starting to twitch slightly, but had nothing new to
report when Drusilla telephoned him around 8.45am.
Around 9am the other gentlemen arrived at the Hamilton-Smythe residence.
Brenton brought eighteen red roses and an engagement ring. Gertrude tried
to play it cool, but failed her Will roll and leaped into his arms almost
instantly.
The Major brought a box of crystallised fruit as a small token of his
esteem. Drusilla was surprised and pleased.
MacDuff brought his pair of shotguns. Jasmine sulked.
Around 9.30am Drusilla, Jasmine, MacDuff and the Major arrived at the
haunted house. Brenton was on his way to Yorkshire to ask Gertrude's
father for permission to marry her - Gertrude was attached to his arm
almost inseparably for the whole eight hour journey.
Our heroes tried to prise up the floorboards in the little storeroom while
Drusilla kept watch at the door and Jasmine sulked in the car. Their
efforts were interrupted by the arrival of a large foreign looking chappie
with big claws and no head. He hurt poor MacDuff quite badly before
Drusilla managed to unlock the back door so they could escape and collect
the firearms. Jasmine shot him (the chappie with the claws, that is, not
MacDuff, in spite of what she regards as serious provocation) through a
door. The Major sneaked round to the front door again and let fly with
both barrels of the shotgun. Regrettably the chappie disintegrated before
their eyes - thwarting Drusilla's plans for dissection. The injured
MacDuff waited at the front door. The Major climbed down to the cellar
while Drusilla held the ladder and Jasmine kept a watch out at the
doorway. Drusilla got slightly possessed by a vengeful ghost and threw the
Major off the ladder into the cellar where the late Mr Corbett, somewhat
emaciated looking, rose from his pallet and attacked. Jasmine leapt up
with a cry of "Auntie Dru, stop it!" and a struggle ensued.
MacDuff hobbled to the Major's rescue and managed to render the late Mr
Corbett even later than he already was. All the clues except a nasty
looking black gem disintegrated. Drusilla placed the gem securely in a
pillbox in her handbag - without in any way touching it. The Major
regained consciousness and Drusilla helped him out of the cellar. He then
spent a couple of weeks on her sofa - mostly too delirious to appreciate
the fact that she was mopping his brow. The doctor had no idea what was
wrong with him. Drusilla suspected that corpses harbour all sorts of
unsavoury bacteria so being clawed by one was bound to be an unpleasant
experience.
Brenton and Gertrude returned from Yorkshire radiant and in love. How
annoyed was Jasmine? and how well did she conceal her sulks?
Jasmine: [on the subject of MacDuff's virtue] Impressive, how
did he pull that one off? Was he armed at the time? Was he carrying a rape
alarm after all? What happened?
Drusilla: He was evasive. We think he pretended to completely miss
the point for a while in order to buy time while steering Jasmine gently
but firmly out of secluded and poorly lit areas back to the safety (for
whom?) of her Auntie Dru's company.
Jasmine: MacDuff probably should have brought me SOMETHING,
(preferably sugary or alcoholic) she might be a little huffy towards him,
but won't generally act overly sulky - after all she has more pride than
to appear generally wounded because some less-than-attractive bloke isn't
being as attentive as he might.
[on the subject of shooting monsters through the door] WOOOHOO!
YES! That will be an excellent frustration venting exercise (over Brenton
getting engaged, and Andrew preserving his virtue) and an ego-boost,
(Jasmine's 2 dismal performances of dancing in Edinburgh have been
rankling)
[on the subject of Brenton and Gertrude radiant and in love.] More
internal puking, but will be rapturously happy for dear Gertrude,
Drusilla: Auntie Dru is pleased to see that the girls get on so
well. She's still not entirely sure about that dress that Jasmine
persuaded Gertrude to wear, but she has to admit that it seems to have
done the trick with Brenton. They do things differently in over in the
Americas, but of course Brenton is from Canada himself...
Brenton: No really, Mr Gertrude's Father, I wouldn't dream of
taking away the pride of raising pigs from Gertrude's brothers.
No, they are strapping young lads aren't they.
No, I don't have any sisters at all. And yes, all of my cousins are
married. I have some brothers of course...
No, that wasn't funny was it. Naturally its a hard job and a man needs a
woman to look after him.
Yes, that is an impressive shotgun cabinet. I haven't seen one with a bore
quite that large before. You say you use it on what sort of beast?
You're kidding? NO? Holy dear lord above.
No, its not a blasphemy, I was praising the lord to look after me. Yes I
certainly shall stay indoors.
Uh, no, I am not Jewish. I am not protestant either. Baptist, err, no. As
a matter of interest, what religion are you?
Oh, Church of England? yes, that's me! I forgot for a second there...
Oh certainly, every Sunday without fail we'll be there. Yes sir, front
row.
Yes, I know your sons are big strapping lads. Quite strapping. Used to
doing that to pigs are they? You don't say? Err, is that legal I
wonder....
Yes sir, I know you have my address and your sons like to travel. They
would be welcome, you all would, of course...
Err, next month? Gertrude? Where are you dear? Oh, excuse me sir, I just
have to ask Gertrude something....
March 1921 - Some time since our heroines and heroes dealt with the
late Mr Walter Corbett...
Jasmine has been earning a living singing in Jazz bars around the city and
has moved out of Auntie Dru's place to share a flat with a young lady
called Hilda Lucile Watkins-Chatelaine. Clever subterfuge by Jasmine and
Hilda has led Auntie Dru to believe that this is a perfectly respectable
arrangement.... However, Jasmine now has no fewer than seven admirers (Benjamin
Hollingworth - gentleman of leisure, Francis Salter - valet, Charlie
Hunter - trumpeter, David Menzies - police detective, Joseph Saul
O'Connell - haven't managed to get a straight answer as to what he
actually does for a living, Edward Chittling-Bream - gentleman of leisure,
William "Billy" Cartwright - Professional footballer). Mr
MacDuff has been able to escape her attentions.
Brenton and Gertrude planned to marry in May in Gertrude's local church.
This may allow our gallant investigators to conclude their previously
interrupted enquiries into whether there's anything fishy going on in the
churchyard there.... (Bets on whether Brenton will die before he gets to
the wedding night..?)
Meanwhile, Drusilla and the Major have also announced their engagement.
The Major has braved the introduction to Drusilla's bridge partners (also
known as The Ladies who Lunch), while Drusilla has met the Major's
formidable Auntie
and has been very impressed by how many hunting trophies and large guns
she has.
Drusilla's old professor died tragically. Shortly before his death he
gave Drusilla a box containing accounts of a student prank he was involved
in years ago - summoning some sort of demon using an Egyptian amulet. The
demon has been confined in an attic in Selkirk for forty years, but the
professor believed that it would be able to escape once he himself was
dead.
Mr St Chapman was, understandably, less than delighted to hear that there
were more manuscripts for him to read, but has bravely started researching
anyway.
The Ladies Who Lunch translated some hieroglyphs for Drusilla and remarked
that neither Yog Sothoth nor Nyarlathotep were standard Egyptian
deities... Who could they be...?
Jasmine was less than delighted to be invited to spend the weekend with
Auntie Dru, but she cheered up a bit when she found out they'd be staying
at a rather nice hotel in Selkirk... and that she wouldn't be paying.
The Major briefly considered the possibilities offered by booking adjacent
hotel rooms with connecting doors, but Drusilla didn't see the funny side
of the idea at all.
Well, the good news was that the hotel in Selkirk has been very
comfortable and the Major secured an excellent picnic lunch for the trip
to the house. The bad news was that a woman from the local village had
been missing since the previous night and that the party found a fox with
its heart chewed out in the garden of the haunted cottage this morning.
The party also disturbed a shadowy figure, believed to be a tramp who had
broken in to the place to sleep the previous night. Drusilla burned his
collection of pictures of ladies underwear, but would probably return his
blanket to him if he apologised for breaking the back door bolt. (MacDuff
and McAllister chased him into the woods, but failed to catch him, so
they're not 100% certain he was harmless.) The even worse news was that
Drusilla found the necessary documents for reversing the summoning spell.
It required a relay of continuous chanting for a couple of hours, starting
at midnight. She feared that it must be done that very night as any more
delay could cause another villager to disappear mysteriously.
In view of the fact that it would probably be unspeakably dangerous
Drusilla felt that it was a job for volunteers only. Jasmine had already
volunteered to stay in the hotel back in Selkirk.
Bruce, the Major's
new driver (an American who is travelling the world in an attempt to
escape from a future consisting of nothing more exciting than riding
around the landscape watching cows...), had volunteered to stay
outside by the car, but in view of the fact that all the runes of
protection were on the house, not outside it, this was probably not a good
idea unless the others wanted to be cleaning his remains off the shiny
paintwork of the vehicle in the morning.
So, gentlemen, who is volunteering? If necessary Drusilla will stand alone
and face certain death...
from our GM : [on the subject of certain death...] I object!
It's only very probable death. Nothing is certain.... And there are worse
things than death.
Brenton: Yeah, sure. I volunteer, besides, I have my future wife
to think of, I feel I must destroy all evil across the world, they all
must die! Can't you see that!! Can't you!?!??! *ahem*
MacDuff : Can't allow a lady to face certain doom alone... not
without a hardy ablative wall :) and I think more drugs for Brenton...
must be the stress of the wedding
Mr St-Chapman : Well I don't know if Stephen is with the group or
not, but if so I think he'll volunteer, if not good luck
Jasmine: I presume the Major will be going along too. So that's
everyone but me. Well I'm not going to stay at the hotel all by myself if
there's a demon on the loose in the country . . .
Bruce: I'd like to clear a few things up before I do any
volunteering. Can I speak freely without losing my job?
If so see below.
First - What's all this talk of demons? I can understand you people not
being to happy a tramp looking at pictures of ladies underwear in your
cottage and that a tramp could be considered some form of animal, but to
call him a demon! Unless you honestly believe a real demon is around.
Second - If you are convinced that a demon is abound in the countryside
and that the markings on the door frames are design to protect the
'chanters' from it. Then how did it get out of the house past such great
and powerful scratchings?
Third - If you do intend to do this voodoo stuff and chant at this demon,
I'll volunteer because I want to see this to believe it.
Drusilla sent Bruce off into town to buy chalk, candles and a few other
little household necessities for the ritual. She also instructed him to
report the presence of the tramp to the police. The local policeman turned
up at the house along with an unexpected lynch mob (locals under the
impression that the tramp might have had something to do with the
disappearance of the farmer's wife) who scoured the woods but failed
to find the aforesaid tramp - which was rather unfortunate for him, as it
turned out.
Our heroines and heroes chose not to tell them that actually the guilty
party was a Egyptian demon.
Brenton wrote a last letter to Gertrude, assuring her of his love and
devotion through all eternity.
Drusilla wrote a last letter to Stephen telling him how to perform the
ritual in case everyone else died.
The Major expressed his mild disappointment that Drusilla hadn't been
interested in the possibilities offered by adjoining hotel suites and
connecting doors the previous evening, particularly in view of the fact
that they were now facing almost certain death.... Drusilla looked stern,
but declined to comment.
Night fell and the team dined on the remains of the excellent picnic
hamper which the Major had obtained from the hotel. After dinner Brenton
drew pentacles on the kitchen floor and Drusilla organised chanting
practice for the choir. Something left the cottage attic at high speed
shortly after dark and there was a disturbance in the woods. As previously
stated, it was rather unfortunate for the poor tramp not to have been
caught by the comparatively nice and well meaning lynch mob earlier in the
day...
Bruce and MacDuff were put in charge of shooting anything which tried to
interrupt the ritual and a rota of chanters was organised, along with
appropriate candles, fires, mystical powders and glasses of water for dry
throats. Jasmine's nerves weren't good, so Auntie Dru reluctantly allowed
her to smoke to avoid the risk of her getting so drunk on the contents of
her hip-flask that she was unable to chant. At midnight our brave chanters
began. Various attempts to thwart them included a dripping of slime so
corrosive that it actually ate through Drusilla's tweeds, as well as
random howls, shrieks and so on. In the small hours of the morning, cries
for help from the deceased farmer's wife prompted a few unwise souls to
look out of the window. The lady was quite an alarming sight and those
unfortunate enough to see her suffered from a bad attack of nerves.
Jasmine became particularly jittery.
The late tramp joined the late farmer's wife in trying to get into the
cottage. Bruce's nerves cracked. He shot one through the window and the
other through the door. Unsubtle, but effective.
Something appeared in the pentacle. MacDuff thought it was quite pretty
and was trying to go over to it. Brenton and Bruce sat on him and hit him
until he gave up on the idea, because they, and everyone else, were under
the impression that it was some sort of nameless horror with mouths and
tentacles all over the place that would probably try to eat him.
Eventually, the thing in the pentacle disappeared and Auntie Dru returned
Jasmine's hip flask. MacDuff regained consciousness and Bruce regained his
wits.
Once it was light the local constabulary were called. They believed the
Major's tale that the tramp had carried the deceased woman up to the
cottage and held her up at the window to scare the occupants, and had then
tried to break in. Locally it is believed that the tramp murdered the poor
woman and was then killed by Bruce in self defence.
The Major insisted on paying for a decent burial for the tramp. Drusilla
made a donation to the local school where the deceased woman's younger
children are educated, and provided employment in the local area by
getting the cottage fixed up and then hiring a housekeeper to clean it
once a week.
Bruce: WITS.... shot to pieces. I think Bruce needs a good
dose of alcohol and job descriptions. Especially his. Liked shooting
though I'm sure!
Gertrude, Drusilla and Jasmine shopped extensively for curtains,
carpets, lingerie etc. during the first few months of the year.
Brenton naively accepted Jasmine's offer to help organise his stag night
at a bar she works in one night in April. Luckily she restrained herself
and settled for smooching with him a bit while he was too drunk to resist
and then singing a couple of risqué songs to the assembled company.
The assembled company were very impressed with her.
There are several things the Major won't find it necessary to mention to
Drusilla, about the evening's events... He doesn't want her upset
unneccessarily...
A typical country wedding in the local church in Yorkshire followed
shortly after, and then there was a barn dance in a genuine barn with lots
of solid, sustaining food like pies and mutton sandwiches.
Both Bruce and MacDuff attracted some attention from the local girls, but
were largely prevented from taking advantage of it by the local boys.
Jasmine was introduced to Gertrude's older brother Albert. They danced the
night away and then he suggested a stroll in the moonlight. Auntie Dru was
dancing in the Major's strong, manly arms so she didn't spot them sneaking
out. Albert showed Jasmine the stars, the moonlight, the hayloft and a few
other things as well. She was reasonably impressed. He's very much looking
forward to visiting his sister and her new friends in Edinburgh soon.....
The newlyweds spent an evening saying "Oh Gertrude" and "Oh
Brenton" a lot, before leaving for a honeymoon in Paris.
In June the Major's stag night was a rather more sedate affair, involving
sitting in armchairs at the club and drinking a few single malts. It was
followed by a Society wedding in an impressive Church of Scotland, and
then a grand reception at the Caledonian Hotel.
Poor-Vera, Drusilla's bridge partner, a subscriber to "Bride"
magazine since 1902, was able to advise Drusilla on all aspects of wedding
etiquette (apart from the garter and certain other items of underwear,
which an amazed Jasmine helped with).
After the return from an honeymoon cruise around the Western Isles, the
Major (hereinafter referred to as "James dear" or "Uncle
Jamie") received a mysterious package from an old friend. The package
contained a mysterious black stone with indecipherable hieroglyphs on. The
next news that Uncle Jamie received was that his old friend had died after
apparently being set upon by ruffians while visiting an old ruined house.
A small dinner party was held at Major and Dr Carson's place that very
evening and the news of unexplained deaths, hieroglyphs and mysterious
ruined houses was discussed.
Jasmine caught the mood of the assembled company very well when she put
her head in her hands and said "Not Again!!!"
Mrs McAllister confided some happy news to Mrs Carson. Brenton is, as
yet, unaware that he counted the days wrong.... but Gertrude is confident
that he'll be as thrilled as she is when she does tell him....
Drusilla scowled at Bruce every time he looked like flirting with the new
upstairs maid at the Carson residence.
The Carsons and Bruce arrived in Wales accompanied by Nathan Hardwicke,
nephew of the deceased Col. Hardwicke. None of the local villagers were
prepared to come and help clean the cottage, so Drusilla was efficient
about the whole thing. She did stuff like making beds and setting tables
while Bruce did all the heavy and/or dirty jobs. Water was supplied from a
well. It appeared to be crystal clear Welsh spring water, but Drusilla
insisted on boiling it anyway. A sufficient supply of firewood, lamp oil,
candles and food were obtained from town.
The Major hired a rather substandard car locally. Drusilla crashed it
slightly on their second evening at the cottage, and she and the Major had
to walk back through the misty woods late at night. This was not at all
scary in any way, due to stiff upper lips and extreme Britishness. From
then on Bruce did all the driving.
The Carsons and Nathan searched through the study and storage areas of the
house to try and find out what was going on generally. The Carsons have
also spoken to a local man called Evans and to a Mrs Llewelyn who used to
be a housekeeper at the cottage 20 years ago. Nathan was a strange young
man, pale, frail and quiet with straight dark hair. The locals seemed to
be under the impression that he was a fairy child - the result of an
unfortunate encounter his mother, Clarissa Hardwicke, had in the woods
near the house. They all appeared keen to avoid him and to avoid the
cottage.
Drusilla found him no more weird and borderline autistic than many of her
students. He seemed to like being in the countryside and found the woods
delightful. Were it not for the risk of him being beaten to death by
whoever (or whatever) killed his uncle, Drusilla would have been quite
happy to leave him to his researches in the cottage. Two nights in the
cottage have resulted in good nights' sleep, with no ghostly apparitions
of any kind. There appear to be no false walls in the cellar (the Major
found some wine, but it isn't all that impressive). No mysterious pagan
altars in the outbuildings. No signs of druidic sacrifices in the
surrounding woods. The attic remains to be checked out. Also, a ruined and
deserted farm slightly lower down the valley needs to be looked into.
No indication of where the Colonel found the mysterious black stone,
either.
How's Stephen getting on with his researches into it back in Edinburgh?
Stephen: Hmm not to sure... but if it is scary he might be
having the odd stiff drink to calm his nerves :)
Bruce:Bruce is surprised that his new employers haven't found
anything mysterious yet! He believes that being British and rich involves
finding weird stuff in backwater places.
The Major, Drusilla and Bruce drove over to the local station to collect
Jasmine by car. Drusilla phoned Mr St-Chapman from the station, but he had
made no further progress in his investigations.
On the journey back to the house they updated her on the current status of
the investigation, and their various suspicions concerning young Mr Nathan
Hardwicke (who may be a changeling or something similar...) They also
picked up scones, cream and jam for a cream tea back at the house. In view
of the fate of Nathan's mother, Drusilla advised Jasmine not to go into
the woods alone. The Major spotted Young Mr Hardwicke looking at something
on the side of the shed as the car arrived back at the house.
Bruce's culinary skills were tested beyond their limits by attempting to
whip cream and heat up scones, but Drusilla arrived in the kitchen in time
to mostly salvage the situation, and disaster was largely averted. Jasmine
spent some time checking her room for convenient drainpipes which would
allow her to leave the house without walking past Auntie Dru's bedroom
door, but didn't get around to unpacking very much of her clothing. Young
Mr Hardwicke seemed more terrified than pleased by the attention Jasmine
paid to him.
After tea, the long suffering Bruce was dispatched to collect a ladder
from the hayloft so that the attic could be investigated by Young Mr
Hardwicke, Drusilla and the Major. Jasmine was very amused to see that
Bruce carefully looked down while Drusilla climbed the ladder. It appears
that the Major has dissuaded Drusilla from wearing the sturdy knee-length
bloomers which she used to favour when she was a spinster, but the exact
nature of her new underwear has not been determined by other members of
the party. The attic was empty apart from birds nests, mice etc.
The Major and Drusilla took a stroll before dinner and found that there
were freshly made mysterious carvings on the side of the shed. The design
was similar to the patterns on the mysterious black stone. Our heroines
and heroes organised a rota to watch the shed for visitors or
manifestations overnight, but nothing happened.
The following morning the party intended to investigate an abandoned
farmhouse down the valley from the house. Young Mr Hardwicke stated his
intention to walk up the valley instead of accompanying them. Jasmine
sneaked out while Auntie Dru was trying to find her something a bit
woodland-proof to wear for an explore and caught up with Young Mr
Hardwicke, who permitted her to accompany him on his exploration. When her
absence was discovered Drusilla, the Major and Bruce all set off in hot
pursuit.
They went past a few clues, but were too busy tracking Jasmine and Young
Mr Hardwicke to check them out. Jasmine felt that she was being followed
and she spotted a small figure, about child sized and dirty looking
lurking around at one point. When the young people were finally found at
the top of the valley Young Mr Hardwicke was very apologetic. Jasmine had,
as it turns out, been slightly less than frank with him on the subject of
whether she had obtained her aunt's permission before leaving the house.
While the Major discussed matters with Young Mr Hardwicke, Bruce admired
the scenery intently and Drusilla had a little talk to Jasmine slightly
down the path from where the gentlemen were.
Drusilla was disappointed in Jasmine. Jasmine said that she thought Young
Mr Hardwicke was a bit shy and might have talked to one person alone
better than he would to a group, and how else were they to find anything
out? Drusilla said that the investigation was less important than
Jasmine's reputation and moral conduct, and enquired as to what Jasmine's
father would have to say if he heard about this. Jasmine was a little
concerned by this argument since Daddy did provide her with an allowance.
It would be difficult for her to support herself solely on her earnings as
a singer. However, she appealed to Drusilla's sense of reason by saying
that since coming to visit her aunt she had encountered demons, hauntings,
monsters in the cellar and dead people trying to break doors down, so she
didn't see what all the fuss was about a harmless walk in the woods with a
harmless young man. Drusilla considered this argument for several seconds
before concluding that demons, people getting murdered, etc. were all very
well, but that there was still such a thing as a fate worse than death,
and that Jasmine needed to pay rather more attention to preserving her
reputation, even in the current rather trying circumstances.
Young Mr Hardwicke continued his walk around the valley alone.
Bruce admired a lot more scenery on the way back to the house while the
Carson/Hamilton-Smythe family discussed matters further. They stopped to
look at a wicker framework attached to a tree, and also to an interesting
pattern of stones. These appear to be primitive, and are not similar to
the stone or to the carvings on the shed. By lunchtime it had been agreed
that the unfortunate incident would not be referred to again and that the
investigation would continue as before.
Jasmine: Jasmine initially felt a little badly about having
lied to Nathan about having Auntie Dru's permission to go on a walk with
him, but on further reflection has changed her mind. She did have time to
clarify the situation a bit before her Aunt arrived on the scene and if
Nathan Hardwicke had had an ounce of sporting spirit in him he would have
stuck up for her/helped with a cover story, rather than being all prim and
snooty over lunch and saying he was 'sorry he had been misled'. What riles
Jasmine most is that for once her intentions were basically honourable -
if she'd wanted flirtation and seduction she could have attempted that out
in the warm, dry atmosphere of the farmhouse rather than following the lad
up a soggy mountain and ruining a perfectly good pair of pumps and
stockings in the process. Heaven knows he may be an interesting young man
but he's nowhere near good-looking or encouraging enough to warrant such
an effort. She genuinely did follow him out to see if anything mysterious
happened once he got out in the wilds a bit. On the other hand, though it
is galling to be caught on the one occasion when one meant no harm, it was
probably better to get caught fully clad, on a perfectly innocent walk
with Mr Hardwicke than say with Albert, in . . . yes, well anyway, you get
the point. As for the Major, or Uncle James, he had absolutely no need to
come down on her like a ton of bricks for 'upsetting' Auntie Dru. He's way
too sensitive about that. Auntie Dru doesn't get upset - she's made of
TWEED for heavens sake - she gets disapproving, but that's entirely
different. Nevertheless she is uncomfortably aware that she may have
placed her civil liberties under serious threat on this occasion, and will
consequently be on her best behaviour for the rest of the holiday, on
reflection she sees no harm in giving Auntie Dru her word of honour that
she won't go off alone with Mr Hardwicke again - she wouldn't get the
chance anyway. She may even go so far as to apologise privately to Auntie
Dru and consent to wear her spare tweeds when they go out hill-walking
next.
Drusilla: Auntie Dru is greatly relieved to see that Jasmine has
now realised how serious matters were. She accepts that her niece's
intentions weren't actually immoral, but reminds her again how very
important it is to maintain appearances in society. A young lady's
reputation is all important. Jasmine needs to understand that the risk of
the entire village being wiped out by demons is less serious than the
potential damage to Jasmine's good name if she's found to be out alone
with a young gentleman. She'll sort out some suitable tweeds for Jasmine
to wear.
After a rather tense lunchtime Drusilla, The Major and Jasmine took a
walk down to the abandoned farmhouse. They followed a track up to an even
more ruined set of buildings near the edge of the valley where there were
some more of the odd little stick and feather constructions. Drusilla made
sketches and took a few photographs.
Jasmine was somewhat resentful of her new tweed outfit, but she's bigger
than Auntie Dru so most observers are pleased to note that the tweeds are
agreeably tight on her...
They got back to the house later than intended and ate a stew prepared by
Bruce. It probably would have been slightly better if they'd been home an
hour earlier.
A brief study session in the library failed to give any clues as to what
the stick things are.
Jasmine offered Bruce a crown to arrange a bath for her while the others
were reading. Yet again a quiet night with no mysterious visits or
manifestations to disturb anyone's slumbers.
Breakfast toast and eggs were not a great success. Bruce is a skilled
driver, but it is mercifully rare for him to be called upon to cook. To
Jasmine's relief the coffee was actually quite good, but the tea motivated
Drusilla to telephone an employment agency in Aberyswth to enquire about
the availability of a housekeeper for the cottage. (All the locals are
still refusing to have anything to do with the place...).
The local doctor wasn't terribly forthcoming about either Nathan, Nathan's
mother, the fate of Col. Hardwicke or the funny little stick and feather
things in the woods. But he did provide good tea.
Drusilla posted copies of her sketches off the Stephen.
Later in the day our gallant heroines and heroes plan to visit the
minister and the schoolmaster to ask questions. It may be worth going back
to the pub and buying drinks for the weird old man again to see if he'll
tell them anything about the sticks and feathers - all very ethnic...
Jasmine, now feeling rather less contrite about her walk in the woods,
reminded Auntie Dru of an incident involving Mr MacDuff, whiskey and
Harrogate which Auntie Dru would no doubt prefer the Major not to find out
about.
Auntie Dru maintained that the Harrogate incident, while deeply
unfortunate, and certainly not anything the Major needed to know
about, was entirely innocent, except for a small amount of housebreaking,
and that anyway she was acting in Jasmine's best interests. She felt that
a young girl like Jasmine needed to consider her marriage prospects.
Jasmine pointed out that Auntie Dru got married in her mid-thirties, so
clearly Jasmine herself wasn't about to run out of marriageable shelf-life
just yet. She also disputed Drusilla's claim the housebreaking was an
innocent activity.
More inconclusive bickering ensued.
On the whole we have a large assortment of random clues, none of which
seem to relate in any way to either the mysterious black stone or the
murder of Col. Hardwicke.
Bruce: Could Bruce's cooking have been the cause of any of the
bickering, or even deaths?
Drusilla and Jasmine yet again failed to get any useful information out
of the local GP, although they did find out that Nathan's mother is buried
in London.
Bruce tried chatting to the locals in the pub, but didn't really find much
out.
Brenton arrived by motorcycle and was given a tour of mysterious wicker
and feather artefacts in the local area just to get him up to date on
things. Drusilla suspected they might be part of a ritual to remove the
influence of buildings and return the area to nature.
Nathan reported finding a grotto full of wicker and feather things with a
woman's locket at the centre. He's also developing some interesting scaly
skin on his arm.
Bruce's cooking continued variable. Drusilla's bed making was excellent
thanks to her time in Flanders as a nurse.
A further check of the library failed to shed any more light on subjects
such as wicker structures, but Drusilla did find a privately printed book
with hand-tinted colour plates, aimed at the 'Gentleman Connoisseur'. She
asked the Major to burn it.
Our heroes and heroines plan to visit the grotto tomorrow. Possibly Nathan
might be persuaded to show them where it is.
Brenton spent some time catching up on the plot so far and checking out
the library at the house.
The Major, meanwhile, battled with his conscience on the subject of the
book which Drusilla had asked him to burn. He concluded that, while such
materials should definitely be kept from ladies and the Lower Orders, a
gentleman such as himself was sufficiently steadfast to be in no moral
danger from a perusal of its contents. He concealed the book in his
overcoat pocket, with a view to having the excuse that he had been
interrupted in his quest for a fire to put it in and had subsequently
forgotten about it. He hoped this would be plausible enough should
Drusilla happen to stumble upon the book again....
After breakfast young Nathan Hardwicke escorted our heroes and heroines
to the grotto. Several of them felt that they were being watched as they
proceeded through the woods. Small shadowy figures looking a bit like
dirty children were the prime suspects.
The locket in the centre of the big wicker structure did indeed prove to
be Nathan's mother's. There was also a gap in the base of the plinth
approximately the right size for the black stone to fit in. Our heroes
hypothesised that perhaps the Colonel had taken his sister's locket as
well as the black stone and had been killed by someone retrieving the
locket to return it to the grotto. Jasmine got pinched by invisible
fingers while opening the locket to check the inscription. Bruce got
pushed over while conducting investigations into the base of the plinth
with one of Drusilla's knitting needles.
Nathan was startled and considerably distressed by revelations (mostly
provided by Brenton) concerning local rumours as to his origins and his
mother's death. Brenton comforted him outside the grotto while Bruce and
Drusilla considered whether the best approach to the problem of invisible
attackers might be to burn the whole structure to the ground. Jasmine was
of the opinion that this might make matters worse, while Nathan pleaded
with everyone to leave the grotto at once and return to the house so that
he could have time to think.
Back at the house, Nathan retreated to his room and refused to speak to
Brenton or to allow Drusilla to fetch the minister. Just as lunch was
about to be served he left the house at high speed. Bruce and Brenton
followed him. Drusilla felt that Jasmine's presence would not be a calming
influence on the young man's disturbed mind, so the Carsons and Jasmine
sat down to lunch.
Brenton soon lost Nathan's trail, but Bruce followed him across the river
and discovered him in conversation with a beautiful lady in green. She ran
away when she saw Bruce. Bruce grabbed Nathan and demanded to know why he
hadn't mentioned the existence of the young lady before. Nathan struggled
feebly but ultimately failed to escape. Bruce was then attacked by
invisible rock throwers. He put Nathan over his shoulder and ran. He was
tripped by something invisible and then hit with more rocks. At this point
he lost his temper somewhat, took out his knife and shouted to his
attackers that he would kill Nathan if they didn't leave him alone. This
argument appeared to be sufficiently persuasive to them.
On the way back down to the house he ran into Brenton again and they
reached the house at high speed, interrupting lunch with various tales of
attempted murder...
Bruce: Bruce would like to explain that the pressure of
cooking, tight tweed, conversations regarding underwear, Jasmine asking
who was knocking her up and rocks being thrown are in his opinion reasons
enough to lose his temper.
Of course without the rocks and invisible creatures, tight clothing,
women's underwear and being asked about knocking up wouldn't bother him,
in fact it would probably be of some considerable enjoyment.
Drusilla : On the whole Drusilla approves of Bruce's rather
gung-ho approach to having rocks thrown at him. She's still in favour of
burning the benighted heathen temple to the ground, after all.
She'd be considerably less pleased if she realised that subjects like
underwear were crossing his mind, though.
Upon being revived from his unconscious state Nathan got rather irate
about Bruce and the others. He refused to accept Drusilla's argument that
the attack on Bruce could have been related to the attacks on his mother
and uncle and ordered everyone to leave the house at once. He then shut
himself in his room.
Jasmine insisted that the black stone should be returned to the fairies,
who were, in her view, Nathan's relatives anyhow. She also felt that if
Nathan wanted to turn into a fairy that was up to him and that they could
get themselves killed by interfering. Drusilla disagreed on the grounds
that leaving ethnic types to their ancient folk traditions just wasn't the
British Empire way of doing things.
There was some bickering.
Drusilla and Jasmine went upstairs to pack in their separate rooms while
the gentlemen discovered that one of the car tyres had been punctured by a
knife or something similar and tried to repair it.
Brenton noticed that an upstairs window had been smashed and was on his
way to investigate when there was a scream from Jasmine's room which
sounded like "Leave me alone! I haven't got it! It's through there!"
A small scaly, snakelike human-ish creature stabbed Jasmine with a spear
while she was attempting to dive under the bed. She then shot it with her
derringer, rendering it immobile.
Drusilla arrived waving a revolver and picked the inert creature up by one
ankle. She was followed by Brenton, then the Major and Bruce. Jasmine
flinched as Drusilla waved the critter around, and then ran away. Drusilla
sent Brenton after her. Jasmine was found in Drusilla and the Major's
room, hastily unpacking the suitcases in a search for the black stone. She
gibbered as Drusilla waved the critter around by its ankle. Brenton
advised Drusilla that the critter was only unconscious, not dead and that
it should be tied up.
The gentlemen returned to the car, to find that it had four flat tyres
and the motorbike had two. The critter started to regain consciousness so
Drusilla hit its head off the nearest wall until it regained
unconsciousness again, she then tied it up and covered it with a blanket
to spare Jasmine's feelings.
Bruce, sent upstairs to fetch the shotguns, found Drusilla and Jasmine
grappling over the stone. Jasmine shrieked to Bruce to help her, otherwise
they'd all be killed by vengeful fairies. Drusilla said "Please
restrain my niece, Bruce, she appears to be a little over-wrought"
Bruce decided that the person who paid his wages had the first call on his
loyalties and successfully prised Jasmine loose from the stone before
carrying her downstairs slung over his shoulder, kicking and shouting all
the way. No buttons came loose as a result of any of this activity, which
may have been a disappointment to observers.
Drusilla suggested offering Jasmine a small sherry in the dining room to
steady her nerves. Jasmine stopped kicking and said that actually she
preferred a large whiskey. She now felt somewhat unhappy about Auntie
Dru's best evening bag which is made of snakeskin, as well as her own
crocodile shoes and anything else which could be classed as in any way
scaly.
The Major told Jasmine off for upsetting her Aunt.
Bruce went to fetch the shotguns.
Drusilla knocked on Nathan's door and insisted that he came out to look
at the critter. He fainted. Drusilla waved smelling salts at him, but he
didn't revive so she got the gentlemen to help prop him up in a chair.
Our heroines and heroes then decided that the kitchen would be the
easiest room to fortify for the night. Brenton and the Major fetched the
motorbike and wheeled it into the hall - the Major shot a critter which
threw stones at Brenton outside the house.
Brenton and Jasmine went to fetch the spare ammunition and Jasmine tried
to persuade Brenton to give the stone to the critters. Brenton wasn't
convinced that this would result in them being allowed to leave the valley
safely.
Jasmine told Brenton that he was going to be a father.
A clear conscience in so far as events on his stag night were concerned
led him to the conclusion that she must in fact mean that Gertrude was
pregnant. He babbled a bit and then calmed down again. Jasmine's argument
that he had a duty to save his own life for the sake of Gertrude and the
baby didn't work. Brenton felt that 'his son' must grow up knowing that
his father wasn't a coward, and that survival was secondary to that.
All internal doors except the one between the kitchen and the hall were
locked. Plans to put a net over the kitchen window were thwarted by the
realisation that all the nails were in the outhouse. Chairs, bed-linen,
handbags, spare ammunition and supplies from around the house were
collected in the kitchen.
Brenton and Bruce both offered to examine the wound on Jasmine's thigh,
and she accepted Brenton's offer. Auntie Dru also allowed her to smoke and
consume whiskey in order to calm her nerves under fire. All in all Jasmine
felt that things were starting to improve a little...
Nathan appeared to be more or less conscious, but to have completely lost
his wits and to be incapable of speaking. Jasmine tried to feed him coffee
and when that didn't work Drusilla told him to pull himself together and
be British, but even that didn't work....
There was a disturbance in Nathan's room and the Major shot at the bed in
an attempt to establish whether anything was hiding under it. Nothing was,
but the window had been broken by a rock thrown through it.
Brenton and Bruce started work on fixing the motorbike in the hallway
while Jasmine made coffee and sandwiches and the Carsons stood guard with
guns. Several more windows were broken with rocks and a critter appeared
in the hallway. Bruce let off both barrels of his shotgun, one hit the
critter's head, splattering it over the hallway, while the other made a
hole in the plasterwork.
The sound of shots caused Jasmine to drop and break a coffee cup as she
grabbed her derringer.
It is now late afternoon. Our heroines and heroes plan to fix the
motorbike and send a couple of people to get help as soon as it's light in
the morning. Meanwhile they're all holed up in the kitchen, conserving the
ammunition and reminiscing about the Zulu War...
Attempts to repair the motorbike were interrupted by a hammering at the
back door with a stone axe.
Drusilla suggested shooting whatever it was through holes in the door, but
the gentlemen overruled her, so she opened the door while they lined up
and fired at the axe wielder. The axe wielder itself was terminally
inconvenienced by being hit with both barrels of Bruce's shotgun. Drusilla
had a narrow escape as some shots went a little wide of their target. As
she was trying to close the door two more creatures tried to get in.
Brenton shot one, but the other managed to get into the hall before the
door was closed. It attempted to hit Drusilla with its axe, but the Major
bravely leapt in to protect her and to assist in shutting the door. After
some fumbling around and lots of near misses the creature was killed.
There was some more hammering on the door, but eventually peace returned
to the cottage.
Jasmine was frightened by seeing the creature in the hallway. Drusilla
offered her some sweet tea which at least served to distract her from her
other problems as she dealt with the unusual taste experience (Drusilla's
tea making roll was 97%...)
Jasmine wanted some more whiskey to calm her nerves but was persuaded to
have a cigarette instead so as to avoid unnecessary drunkenness. Some
while later Nathan regained consciousness and seemed thoroughly confused
about stuff, not to mention even scalier and more slanty eyed than before.
The dark haired lady from the woods came up to the house and knocked at
the door. Brenton let her in and she asked to speak to Nathan. She told
him the story of the rape of his mother and then announced that she was
the Goddess of the little snake people. She wanted Nathan to marry her and
help her to rule them.
Nobody else, except Jasmine, thought this was a good idea, but it was
agreed by the party that Nathan was entitled to make his own decision. He
didn't look all that enthusiastic.
The Major asked the dark haired lady to come back in the morning for
Nathan's answer. She said she'd only leave if she could take the black
stone with her. A lengthy argument in the party over whether to hand over
the stone followed.
Jasmine pointed out that only Auntie Dru knew where the stone was, so the
dark haired lady put some sort of a spell on Drusilla and told her to
fetch the stone. The Major took exception to his wife being hexed and
threatened to shoot the dark haired lady unless she removed the spell.
Jasmine grabbed his gun and attempted to wrestle it from him, so he fired
the gun, at which point the lady turned into a sort of snake or lizard
type creature. Jasmine would have thrown herself in front of the lady to
protect her, but her severe snake phobia prevented her from doing so.
Drusilla returned with the stone and tried to hit the Major with it
(unsuccessfully) while shouting "James put the gun down!".
Jasmine got hold of the rifle and attempted to strike the Major between
the legs with it while he shot the snake lady with his revolver. Brenton
shot the snake lady too and once she died Drusilla was surprised to find
herself attempting to beat up her husband. She apologised for this slight
lapse and fetched a kitchen knife to make sure that the snake creature was
completely dead.
Brenton was impressed with Drusilla's fortitude and advised the Major to
avoid getting into rows with his wife...
The Major was very annoyed with Jasmine for admitting that the stone was
in the cottage and also for making Drusilla a prime target. Nathan was
curled up in a corner gibbering quietly to himself.
The party retired to the kitchen for coffee and sandwiches and to
consider the best escape route from the cottage. The dark haired lady had
said that her people would attack if she hadn't returned safely by dawn.
Drusilla was looking for a hammer to try to break the stone. The Major
suggested using fire and vinegar instead. Jasmine kept complaining that
they were all going to die.
Our heroes and heroines discussed their predicament over coffee and
sandwiches in the kitchen while Nathan gibbered quietly in the corner.
Drusilla wrote a note explaining about the bugs for the benefit of future
investigators and hid it in behind a loose brick in the cellar in case
everyone died horribly. Bruce carried the deceased snake lady down to the
cellar too.
It was decided that driving the car with no tyres was preferable to
walking from the cottage, or indeed to remaining there to see what the
snake people did at dawn when their queen failed to return safely, so
Bruce went out to check it was still working while the Major provided
covering fire and worried about the deposit which he'd paid to the car
hire company.
Once the engine was running a very jittery Jasmine was persuaded into it,
Nathan was dragged from the house by the combined efforts of Drusilla "Now,
Mr Hardwicke, please make an effort!" and the Major. The
semi-conscious snake creature was put in the boot.
Brenton rode behind the car on his motorbike.
There was a hail of stones from adversaries hidden in the trees as the
vehicles left the front yard of the cottage. Jasmine, Drusilla and Brenton
were slightly injured, and the bike was a little dented but the car
provided reasonable protection from the missiles. Bruce successfully drove
the vehicle as far as the road block where some more of the snake people
were lying in wait.
Another volley of stones was followed by a direct attack as the creatures
leapt onto the bonnet and running board of the car. Drusilla shot and
wounded one at her window, Brenton, Bruce and the Major all fired killing
shots. Unfortunately Bruce was then attacked by two creatures at once.
While he grappled with them Drusilla shot another which was trying to
sneak up behind the Major and Jasmine (slightly overwrought..) repeatedly
shot a dead one which had fallen inside the car. Drusilla and Brenton both
managed to fire at the creatures attacking Bruce and do small amounts of
damage. The Major killed one of them, then tried to club one which Bruce
was grappling with.
There was then a regrettable incident - the butt of the Major's rifle
impacted on the wrong target and while the Major was still reeling from
the horror of hitting his own driver and smashing his skull the creature
attacked the Major.
Drusilla and Brenton, unaware of the tragedy, were attaching ropes to the
tree blocking the road and to the car so as to shift it. The Major killed
the creature which had previously been grappling with Bruce, Jasmine
kicked the other dead creature out of the car, and almost felt better
until the late Bruce was put in its place, at which point she screamed
loudly until she was allowed to change seats and move to the front of the
vehicle.
Drusilla and Brenton both tried to drive the vehicle unsuccessfully, then
the Major managed to reverse it and pull the tree out of the way
sufficient for the car to edge past, just as a horde of snake people
appeared running down the track in pursuit. Brenton abandoned his
motorbike and the Major drove off, his route illuminated only by two
pocket torches held by Drusilla, since the headlights had been smashed by
stones.
In order to avoid complications at the police station Drusilla slit the
throat of the snake creature in the boot of the car and abandoned it by
the roadside outside the village.
On arriving at the village Brenton woke the constable who called the
village men out to look for the gang of miscreants who attacked our heroes
(nobody mentioned scales to him).
Drusilla took Jasmine to the doctor's house where their wounds were
treated and Jasmine was given a sleeping draught to calm her nerves. The
doctor recommended that she go to a nice quiet place for a short holiday.
The doctor then attended Brenton, the Major, Nathan and the late Bruce at
the police station. The smashed motorcycle and burnt out cottage were
sufficient corroboration for Brenton's story so far as the local police
were concerned, although a search of the valley failed to find the gang of
criminals he had described.
The Major had Bruce's body transported back to Edinburgh for a decent
burial. Drusilla cried a lot at the funeral. Jasmine was relatively calm
until she was offered a cigarette of the brand Bruce used to smoke, at
which point she became inconsolable.
The Major spent a lot of time brooding in his study. He also donated the
infamous illustrated book to the library at his gentlemen's club instead
of keeping it himself.
Mrs McAllister told her husband the happy news that she was expecting.
She also told him that perhaps a car would be more suitable than a new
motorcycle now that their family was growing. He was a little upset about
the motorbike, but claimed to be thrilled about the baby.
The Major gave the McAllisters the remains of the hire car (which he'd
had to buy from the hire company anyway given how badly dented it was) and
Brenton had it repaired.
Jasmine may refuse to travel in it, ever. And she has a lasting aversion
to snakeskin shoes.
Luckily for Brenton, Gertrude was too busy decorating the nursery to have
got around to tidying his desk while he was away.
Nathan ended up in a home for the terminally bewildered.
Bad news is that the gang of criminals (or snakes) who so nearly killed
our heroes and heroines are now reported to be running wild in the local
area, burning isolated farmhouses and occasionally murdering people.
Once Brenton can find a machine gun or three the party may have to return
and sort out the baddies once and for all... Or die in the attempt...
which seems more likely...
Jasmine [on the subject of going to a nice quiet place for a short
holiday]: would really rather stay in the city and well away from any
nasty countryside with potential lurking things. However if Auntie Dru
really feels Jasmine should go 'somewhere quiet', Jasmine may consult her
as to the possibility of going to stay with dear Gertrude's family, they
seemed very nice people from what she saw at the wedding . . .
[on the subject of the snake people running wild] Jasmine will
probably have the decency to refrain from actually saying 'I told you so,'
to her Aunt and Uncle, but she definitely feels their unreasonable
behaviour in holding on to the stone and killing the lady is to blame for
Bruce's death and the little snaky things running amok. To a lesser extent
she blames Brenton too, but he is young and handsome and therefore more
forgivable.
Drusilla: Now, Jasmine dear, calm yourself. They could just as
easily have decided to attack us even after we gave them the stone. What's
that phrase they use in detective novels...? Ah, yes, I recall it now. "We
knew too much".
And we couldn't possibly have handed Mr Hardwicke over to them. The lady
with the scales really was a most unsuitable potential wife for a young
gentleman. Yes, I know he's in a lunatic asylum now, but don't over-react,
dear, they may find a way to cure him someday. He really is better off as
he is...
I shall send a letter to Mrs Perceval and ask if you can visit them for a
few weeks until you're feeling better.
Links :
Character Profiles
A Cthulu
Chapbook
Tales of
Plush Cthulhu
Cthulhu Versus the
Dread Smiley Face
De
Profundis - Edinburgh