Perfidious Albion's troops sallied forth from the Keep in
an effort to educate and take the disputed land of Sciennes Primary
School. The expedition began with the confused cries of "Help!"
and "Where are the rest of the weapons?" . Despite
disorganisation and delay the divided forces (Sir Gunnar Tormundson
thought it best to divide into a heavier scouting party and a main force)
advanced to the dread land of the "play ground" to perform at
the bequest of the leader of the snotlings, Mrs. Matthews.
Once the initial show of arms and skills of Perfidious Albion's forces had
finished, we were captured by the never ending hordes of little bobbins
and subjected to the torture of answering questions. The troops; to their
credit, did not break rank and rout as many of the nobles had wagered
earlier that day. Showing their true colours, they supported and tended to
Sir Gunnar's wounded sensibility as he suffered the lion's share of the
torture.
It is my recommendation that he receive some award for successfully
fending off questions and statements such as "Couldn't you just catch
the arrows and throw them back?" and "Nope. You can just chop
them out of the air." He showed great courage and even withheld his
grimace in the face of the enemy. Once again the valour and chivalry of
Perfidious Albion defeat the assassins of the old Power Ranger of the
mountain and restore the perceptions of children to something like the
truth (or at least more like Monty Python).
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